Excel Saga: Fists of Fate!
by Crazy Rikku
Summary: Rated for language! Never in a million years would I see...The Special Municipal Force Daitenezen and the secret organization of ACROSS working together! What insanity will presume out of this? Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is my first Excel Saga fic so be nice!!! It takes right after the last episode

Disclaimer: I don't own Excel Saga!!!

            Yes, I'm bringing back everything! Even the special Municipal Force Daitenezen!  But introducing my two OC's....

**Eris(18): **Of the Excel Excel family tree, her and her sister Oshan are waaaaayyyyyyyy far away in there. Yes, their cousin the one and only, EXCEL EXCEL!! (or Excel for short.) They are waaaayyyy distant cousins but only cousins by marriage. She has the blonde hair and blue eyes and she can be waaaayyyy deadly with her extreme magics. That's why, for another attempt at world conquest, ACROSS gets two more members.

**Oshan(13)**: Just picture the younger girl from NOIR, Kirika, I think. They look exactly alike but Oshan has dark brown hair and blue eyes. . She too is also silent and hardly speaks. Why? Well, ever since she saw their parents get slaughter, I mean **gruesomely **killed in front of her, she's been like that ever since. Yet, she's another perfect assessment for ACROSS with her skills...with guns and combat. That's why Lord Ilpalazzo gives her the nick name, "Silent Killer" which...oddly enough...makes her smile. 

NOW ON WARD!!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

*some where in America*

**Briefs**: *has birthday presents all around her* *gets the last present**thinks*_"This better be the Playstation two I asked for or someone's going to be sorry if it's another pair of socks!!" _*Starts opening it*_"Okay, so maybe this isn't a PS2 but maybe it's more money? Huh? Huh?"_

**Briefs' mom**: *takes pictures at every moment*

**Briefs**: *finds an envelope* Let's see what's in here....PLEASE BE MONEY! *opens it* Huh?

            I, Koshi Rikdo , hereby give Briefs the permission to turn my "Excel Saga" into her own story.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

**Briefs: ***looks up at the guests surrounding her with a vein popping out*

**Rikdo: ***smiles and waves*

**Briefs: **WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?! I WANTED A PLAYSTATION 2! *goes after and chases him* NOT PERMISSION TO MAKE A STORY!! DIE!!!!

(You can probably tell that's what my main goal to get at Christmas or my birthday, lol)

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

            "HAIL ILPALAZZO!"

The leader of ACROSS sat there back in his throne only in his white shirt and boxers along with his big shoulder throne and cap.

"YourExcelExcelhasreturnedyourIlpalazzoness!" She suddenly draw a blank there when her world wide fantasy was to be somewhat intimate with her boss yet, right now would be an awkward moment.

            Hyatt took the initiative," If I may ask, why are you with  no clothes on sir?"

"Well Agent Hyatt, due to the maximum over flow of the blood you brought out from your body, it affected my clothes and yet the stain did not want to come out so I have them at the dry cleaners. Of course that isn't your fault."

"Why thank you sir."

            As Excel started to babble on about how truthful she is, a decent conversation started between the other two.

"So why were you absent for those three days, Agent Hyatt?"

"Pardon me for that sir, but I had to have a truck load of blood packets inserted back into me so I can at least stand up. I'll make it up anyway I can sir."

            "No, no, there's no need for that. " He turned to the annoyance that stood right next to her. "Agent Excel. Agent Hyatt?"

"Eh?"

"Yes?"

            "Due to ACROSS failure last time to achieve world conquest, I have brought two more members to join us.

"WHAT?! BUT LORD ILPALAZZO SIR!"

            "More co-workers?" Hyatt asked.

"Indeed. You may know them Excel. You were supposed to pick them up from the airport this morning."

            A confused but blank face drew up on Excel's expression until she saw two figures emerge from the shadows. One of them happened to be a tall blonde haired blue eyed girl. About 18 or so. "That's right! We called you yesterday to say we would be coming in with your confirmation that you would be picking us up! What's the deal?!"

            Excel suddenly realized she had to do that so she just turned into a bubbling puddle as Hyatt looked at them. "Oh! You two must be the cousins Senior has told me about. Eris..." 

The angry one.

"And Oshan?"

The one who was silent and looking at the ground.

            The leader stood up. "These two warriors actually have what it takes to be in a secret ideological organization such as ACROSS so! I'm immediately promoting these two to senior officers and Excel to junior. Have fun I have to go pick up my dry cleaning." 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

            They all sat around a hot pot that Excel started to cook and decided to have some free time to talk. "So, what necessary skills do you guys have that made Lord Ilpalazzo choose you into ACROSS?" Excel asked as she stirred the food.

            "Well...first off Excel, you're going to have to pay that guy with the big ass fro for taking us to the secret meeting place-"

"Yo!" peeked Nabeshin from the window.

            "GO AWAY CRETIN!" Excel shut the window on his fingers and shut the drapes as the 'fro  man yelped in pain. "Uh huh, go on."

            Hyatt was too dead to listen anyway.

"I have deadly magic skills and your younger cousin here has superb skills with guns and combat fighting. Go ahead Oshan, show cousin your collection."

            The younger girl, who was petting Menchi nicely nodded and got up to her suit case. She kneeled and opened it up as Excel's eyes widened in shock.

            There were so many deadly weapons in that only suitcase Oshan brought she was afraid that one of these days while they're here, she'll be killed by family in her sleep!

"Oh!" Hyatt started to awake now, "What a full choice of pretty guns!"

            "Yeah, Ilpalazzo even gave a nickname for little Oshan. The only way to get her to smile is to say "Silent Killer."

All of them, including a Puuchuu, leaned in at Oshan who slowly raised her mouth up into a upside down arch. That, was a smile. 

            The orange haired girl (it looks orange to me!) scratched her head confused, "I don't know about you Hatchan but that really creeps me out."

"Yes, " she nodded. "I think I'm going to have to agree with you, Senior."

__________________________________________________________________________

There you go! 


	2. Chapter 2

Here we are, second chapter to my excel ficcy! Which has violence in it so if you don't like to see blood, then don't read! And excuse my dumb and ridiculous humor but this chapter may be sort of serious. It's dedicated to Oshan and her sadness about her parents!...

And if anyone can really tell me the TRUE gender of Menchi, I'll be greatful because it's been awhile since I"ve watch the whole 6 DVDs and I knew it said something about Menchi's gender

________________________________________________________________________________

**KEY:**

**_Something like this=_**this is when Sumiyoshi's talking

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: I don't own Excel Saga!!

Excel and Hyatt decided to show Eris around F City as Oshan was left behind in the apartment to maybe...hang around a bit?

She sat there at the table wiping her guns as little ol' Menchi came over to her wondering what she was doing. Out of all the people that showed it kindness and not wanting to try to eat him, Oshan was the nice one so he thought he should be friendly. But when she pointed her gun at him he instantly started screaming and freaking out.

_"It's just a dog..."_she thought as she didn't mean to aim it at him. She put the gun on the table and got up as Menchi stopped freaking out and watched her. Oshan looked in the fridge to see if there was anything eatable even though they just ate like half an hour ago and took out a can of tuna. That's what basically was in there anyway. 

She took a bowl and opened it and poured the smelly, gooey contents in and added a little milk to it and she gave it to the little dog to eat. 

Menchi, hesitant at first, but gradually ate it and barked happily as Oshan began to pet it again. 

"They use you as an emergency food supply, don't they?" she asked him as she petted him repeatedly. 

"reow?" the animal looked up at the girl with no emotion on her face.But then it came back to eating it's food. 

She then stood up which the dog halted it's eating. 

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Oshan reached into her pocket and took the compact make-up communicator out. "Yes?"

It was Ilpalazzo. Somehow, with out Excel's notice, he gave her a communicator just for her. If Excel had it, we all knew what she would do with it....

"Oshan, listen up!"

"Yes, Ilpalazzo, sir?"

"Someone at the F City F Prefecture office is starting to find out about us...(It's not those guys)" His image started to put a shirt over it's big broad shoulders but had a hard time to get it on.

"Sir, you need to take those shoulders off first," Oshan told him. 

"Huh? Oh yes," as he started to take Oshan's word and started to re-change his clothes, "A-Anyway—You are to kill him at once. Anyone who stands in your way, you will kill them!"

"Understood....you want this to be a free killing?"

Ilpalazzo looked at her as he put his glasses on. "I guess Excel and Eris would be nagging on you for not getting any money so.....how's 2,000 yen?"

"Fair enough" She shut her communicator off, grabbed her gun and ran out the door with Menchi following up behind her. 

____________________________________________________________________________

The great leader of ACROSS sighed. "There goes the electric bill."

And off went the lights.

____________________________________________________________________________

Oshan made her way out the door when the next door neighbors were having trouble with the living arrangements...as always.

"Damn it! I can't take you guys anymore! You two work at the same job as I do. Why eat my food paid by my money?!"

"It's just a way to save us money," Iwata insisted. "You never know when I could meet a pretty girl.

**_Like that could happen_**

****

****

"Well it could!"

Watanabe growling at the grown sight of his roommates when Oshan caught his eye as she jumped over the railing with Menchi. 

"WHa?!"

"Whoa-ho! Great jump there for a kid and it's dog!"

**_She must be quite the athlete. I don't know about the dog..._**

****

            "But she came out of Miss Ayasugi's apartment!"

**_Maybe that's her little sister?_**

****

"She never mentioned anything about a sister you moron!"

****

****

The short Roppenmatsu had just ran out of her apartment to smell the fresh air when she sort of freaked out when a girl and a dog landed in front of her. The girl turned to the mechanical one. "Sorry," she apologized as she ran. 

A big question mark appears on top of her head. "What a weird girl...Roppenmatsu must find who she is!"

_____________________________________________________________________________

"And here's the nearest café which I hardly go to since we're busy with ACROSS and stuff," Excel looked pretty exhausted since she was showing them around crawling on her hands and legs.

"We could stop at the café if you want, cousin," Eris insisted. "I do have money."

"YOU DO?!" The wobbly paper like Excel took her full form. "THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!"

Eris looked, "But where's Hyatt?"

"Eh?" Excel looked and realized red lines coming from the figure where Hyatt used to be. "HYATT!!!" 

The wind blew as Hyatt's body rolled by like tumbleweed. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Oshan, having the first sight into F City asked around where The Department of City Security was and finally she found it. 

She stood there before it with Menchi who was just looking at her wondering what she was about to do.

With all her courage and might...the girl walked in as the silly kid Roppenmatsu followed her in.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sir, I'm in the building but what section is this person in?"

"His name is Demona Tykoko, age 32. Kill him and I will award you."

"Right..." She shut her communicator and ran on with Menchi following behind her.

"Kill?..." The Roppenmatsu blinked in confusion.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"This'll be cake! Once I send this top secret info of the top secret ideological organization of ACROSS, the boss will award me for this one!"

An office, smelling of what seemed to be cigarette smoke and rotten fish, came to Oshan's nose as she held her gun against her chest and waited for a right time. No emotion on her face whatsoever. Menchi was waiting for her near the plant as it looked up when and saw the young girl. 

"A gun?"

KNOCK KNOCK

"Yeah, yeah, it's open."

The 13 year old made her entrance and when Demona looked her frowned, "Oh, it's a kid. What do you want? Lost your mommy?"

No reply. She just held her gun up as it cocked.

"WHOOOOAAA! A GUNN!!!" pointed the man. "What are you going to do with that?"

BANG BANG!

The whole office heard that and when they all entered Tykoko's office, they all gasped at the sight of a dead Demona and a shot computer screen. No one was here though...

The young robot leaned over to see what happened, "Was it her?"

__________________________________________________________________________________________

           Oshan only knew how to disappear into thin air when it comes to this, so she reappeared in the alley way  as Menchi ran to her barking.

            _Strange dog...how'd it get down here so fast?_

And off they walked.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

            Eris was quite freaked out as Excel's bulging stomach would almost knock down the table as Miss Hyatt laid on the table dead as usual.

            _Man...I'm glad I'm not related to her..._She thought. 

Hyatt suddenly came back alive from somewhere and wiped the trickle of blood coming from her mouth as she pointed out, "Isn't that Senior Oshan walking by herself over there?"

            "Huh?"

Both of the girls saw it was the depressed looking 13 year old would walk with Menchi slowly behind her. 

            "YOO-HOO! Oshan!" Excel used some of her weak strength to call her younger cousin out which caught her attention. The brunette looked over their way as Menchi looked and screamed when he saw the still hungry look on Excel's face.

            "Don't worry, she already filled herself up," Oshan told (it's a him right? MEnchi's a guy even though it sound like a girl.) him as she looked to cross the street.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The 3 ladies looked at Oshan who hardly ever touched her piece of cake. She just sipped away at her juice as she continued to look onto on going traffic.This made Excel Excel sort of worried.

            "Eris..." she whispered in as both Hyatt and herself leaned over to her, "Why's Oshan so depressed all the time? I mean the girl could get laid for all she cared and still be depressed!"

            "Yes..." Eris took a sip of her soda and sat back straight in her chair. "We really don't talk about it much..."

"_Talk about it, talk about it!" Roppenmatsu(remember, it's the short one that I've been talking about!) thought as a was strumming from her back and her mechanical cat ears extended upward to listen at their conversation._

"She's been like this for 10 years now," Eris told them.

            "10 years?" repeated Excel. "But wasn't that when..."

"Yeah, when our parents were brutally murdered in front of us...."

_*FLASHBACK*_

            It was like all the surroundings disappeared and it was filled with a memory of the two.

_Two girls were holding one another, the taller 8 year old blonde was holding onto her sister who was holding onto a teddy as their eyes were widened watching an awful member of The department of City Security personnel kill their parents. The older girl was scared as at that time, the little one didn't show any emotion at all. They were both scared beyond belief..._

            The girls at the table looked in horror as the massive shooting continued Excel covered her eyes as she never seen such brutality in her life. 

            Nabeshin was watching from a table crying his eyes out as were the Puuchuu's at the other table.

Roppenmatsu was looking around at the sight and felt sad herself.

            _END FLASH BACK!_

The memory turned back into the café and street corner as the ones who disappeared wondered where they were sent for those vile few moments.

            "Ohthatissosad!Whydidn'tyoutellmeaboutthatwhenitfirsthappened???" Excel started to pound her fists on the table followed by a stream of tears when Hyatt looked over at the young girl. "So Senior Oshan has been this stigmatized and quiet ever since?"

            "Mhm..." Eris nodded as she looked at her sister. "The thing is, she became a ruthless killer after that...and she doesn't show emotion on who she kills...that's the thing."

            Excel suddenly stopped crying and looked up, "Now that's creepy."

______________________________________________________________________________________________

            Well, that was serious for a moment but don't worry, the insanity will now resume next chapter!

REVIEW!!!!


End file.
